Time Apart
It has now been six days since I have seen my family. Six days since I have gotten to hold my son and give him a kiss and hear his laugh. The surprising thing is that it has only been six days, because it feels like an eternity.
Things aren’t bad in the household, nothing wrong between me and Evelyn. The issue is this pandemic.
I am the only one in the household working, which means I am the only one still going out and working directly with large groups of people who work with so many different city personnel all over southern California. I see them and have to interact with them at the shop as they report to me any issues with equipment or vehicles.
For this reason, I am now the issue that puts my family at risk. Because I am considered at risk. It is difficult being away from them, but far be it from me to put my son in any sort of danger. He is only one years old. His immune system has not fully developed. He is so innocent and perfect. I want nothing but the best for him.
The downside to that, is now I don’t get to see him. If you are reading this and immediately disregarding this, thinking it is not that big of a deal, let me just say that you are exactly a part of the problem.
To be fair though, I was also a part of the problem. When this pandemic started, I was one of the people talking it down. I didn’t take it seriously, nor did I believe it would cause as much chaos as it has.
The virus has swept the nation and the world so quickly and plunged us into unforeseen waters. I was listening to the news on the radio while driving into work; two weeks ago, the nation was at an all-time low in unemployment. Fast forward to now and we are at the second highest rate of unemployment ever. The only moment in US history with a higher unemployment rate? The Great Depression. Imagine that. That is where we are now.
It is incredible something as simple as a virus can be so detrimental isn’t it?
Now this virus has me feeling isolated. I recently spoke with Shayne about this topic, he just got his family back after going through what I currently am going through now. He gave me advice to try to stay positive and to not let myself fall into feelings of doubt or depression. Truth be told though, it’s hard not to.
This feeling just magnifies how much a child can mean to you. The love a parent has, the love a father has. It cannot be measured. I remember being in the Navy on deployment and one of the second-class petty officers in my division (not going to name names for privacy sake) would record himself reading a children’s book. He would purchase a new children’s book and record himself and send the disc home for his wife to play for his daughter. That just amazed me. The love he had for his daughter.
I also feel like a complainer, here I am not seeing my son for a week, and moping about it, yet there are service members that go literally months to a year not seeing theirs. I try to draw strength from that notion, that if they can do it so can I. It still doesn’t make it any less difficult though.
Long story short, I miss my son. I miss my fiancé. I want them back. I want to hug and kiss them both.
I get lost in his photos and videos I have on my phone. Plus, Evelyn sends me photos and videos every day of him. I pretty much relive watching him grow his first year a couple times a week. Ezra has begun to try walking, and I am afraid I’m going to miss his first steps, It is disheartening knowing I will most likely miss it, I have to keep positive. Remind myself that while this is difficult being away, it is for his own good.
So, for everyone out there reading this, thank you for taking the time to allow me to get my feelings off my chest. I ask you all to please do your part, so we can beat this pandemic and get back to regular life.
Stay safe, stay healthy, wash your hands and God bless.
-Brandon Morales
